Gal Friday

I’m afraid I don’t recall the photographer’s name…  I’ll have to track it down!!!!

I’m walking down 3rd Ave about to cross 14th st when a vision in khaki appeared before me. She was a young Eastern European woman rocking a short-short romper and had these nice long legs.  And a sincerely awesome camel toe.  As we passed I heard 2 snarky NYU’ers (it’s always NYU’ers) going, “Eww! Oh my God, I wish I had a camera to get a picture of that” and laughing.  Fools.  Ridiculous foolish children.  Do they not understand the power of a good camel toe?!

Now I can already hear you saying, “No way, Gal Friday, a camel toe is NOT cute.”  Well, WRONG motherfucker!  Let me explain to you the different types and art of the ‘Toe.

Allow me to say it’s a subtle art.  You want to hint at vagina, not Etch-a-Sketch proof that you have monster Homer Simpson lips.  For example THIS is what I like to refer to as “No-No Toe”

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As you can see, Mariah Carey is a victim of “No-No Toe.”  No lips should appear longer than your hand. The lips on your face should do the eating, not the lips below. If your pants get vaginally eaten into shorts by the end of the day….  you got “No-No Toe.”

Then we have a toe that is for those of discerning tastes.  I call this the “CoCo Toe” in honor of CoCo T.  

Though deeply wedged in there, I find this an acceptable look because it says to me, “Girl, my ass is just too thick and fine to be confined in any pants.”  She’s like fruit too ripe for the package, therefore it must find relief by pushing through whatever air hole it can find.  And I find that this kind of ‘Toe, if properly pulled off, deserves a slow clap.

Then we have my favorite and all around acceptable: “Gentle Toe.”

Note the slightest hint of lippage. It’s basically pants or undies that gently suggest to the world “Hello, I have a vagina! I like it!”  The “Gentle Toe” always works because… well, vagina. But also, as someone who werks said ‘Toe, it feels good.  It’s a pleasant way to walk around in tight britches.

Next time you see a well-executed ‘Toe, give sister the thumbs up. Because this is a look for seasoned professionals only.